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Lindsay Ferrier, author of the popular blog, Suburban Turmoil, was convinced television would turn her daughter into a drooling idiot. Then she turned it on and actually let her watch.
My name is Lindsay Ferrier and I let my three-year-old watch television. I know, I know, shocking isn’t it? According to some, I might as well be feeding her razor blades, but hear me out.
Back when my daughter was a newborn, I heard plenty of dire warnings about what would happen if I let her within ten feet of a working television. She would grow up a drooling idiot, pasty, lethargic, and addicted to the boob tube. Frightened, I resolved that she wouldn’t see the light of the screen until she was at least two years old. In fact, maybe we’d get rid of the television altogether, if I could just kick that Gilmore Girls addiction. My steely resolve lasted all of three months.
That’s when I made the surprising discovery that my baby loved The Wiggles, loved them so much, in fact, that she’d happily watch an entire episode while I (finally!) vacuumed or (finally!) mopped the kitchen floor, or (finally, finally!) caught up on the latest online celebrity gossip. I was so grateful to The Wiggles, in fact, that I think I fell a little bit in love with them myself for a while, vehemently defending Anthony Wiggle’s rugged good looks whenever another mommy friend would mention the boyish charms of Greg. But I digress. The point of this story is that I realized then that television perhaps wouldn’t turn my baby into a blank-eyed zombie after all. From that point onward, I haven’t restricted television at all, and the decision has been a good one.
At three, my child has only a casual interest in television. She’ll watch it for five or ten minutes at a time, taking occasional breaks in between “reading” picture books, creating imaginary scenarios for her dolls, and playing educational games on our computer. The large number of Spanish/English children shows on the air have taught her language skills that I never would have gotten around to myself; thanks to television, she can count to ten in Spanish, surprising me with her skill one day out of the blue. Thanks to television, she says ‘Ayudeme!’ (that’s ‘help!’) when she needs my immediate assistance, and knows the names of all kinds of animals from hyenas to macaws, even correcting my husband the other day when he called a jungle cat a tiger. “No, Daddy, that’s a leopard,” she said. She was right.
I’ve noticed that several of her little friends whose television watching is severely restricted seem obsessed with the thing when they come to our house. They repeatedly make for the den, struggling to find the power button on our TV set. If it happens to be on already, they plant themselves in front of it, refusing to play, much to my daughter’s irritation. I think this is the way it is with young children- ban them from sugar and all they want is candy. Ban them from television and all they want to do is watch it all day long. The key in my house has been to offer distractions that are more interesting than television, whether we’re finger-painting, baking cookies, or putting together a puzzle. It also helps that my husband and I aren’t big channel surfers. All told, both of us watch less than an hour of television a day and I know that our habits have a lot to do with the ones my daughter has established.
Watching my three-year-old thrive, I’ve abandoned the guilt I once felt over my television-watching decision and learned to go with my gut. We know our children better than anyone and generally I’ve found that we know in our heart of hearts what’s best for them.
Lindsay Ferrier is author of the popular blog Suburban Turmoil (www.suburbanturmoil.com) and writes a column by the same name for the alt-weekly Nashville Scene. She’salso the blended family blogger for Parent and Family Circle magazines (www.parents.com/theblender). Lindsay is mother to a 6-month-old boy and 3-year-old girl and stepmother to 14 and 17-year-old girls. Their favorite shows are The Amazing Race, America’s Next Top Model and The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
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