Few things bring on pangs of guilt faster than cursing in front of your kids. Still, saying “Sticks and stones!” when someone cuts in front of you on the highway just doesn’t feel as good.
Challenge: What do you do when your offspring begins to repeat your oh-so-colorful language?
Yvonne Thomas, PhD, a psychologist in Los Angeles (and online at yvonnethomasphd.com) talks you through a plan of attack.
1. Resist the urge to totally freak out. If you come down too heavy-handed, you won’t get anywhere. You want your child to hear your message, after all, not just the angry tone of your voice.
2. Tailor your explanation to your child’s age. For the seven-and-under set, that means keeping it extremely simple: “Certain words are good, some are bad. We want to use nice words, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes…even Mommy.”
3. Whatever you do, don’t list or repeat That Which Shouldn’t Have Been Said. You’ll just help them memorize it.
4. Brainstorm some alternatives. Ask your son or daughter’s help in coming up with a good phrase for you to say when you’re feeling frustrated or angry – nonsensical made-up words, maybe, or the catch phrase of a TV character they admire. (Yes, you will feel ridiculous shouting “Scooby dooby doo!” the next time you spill hot coffee all over yourself, but come on. Parenting is all about sacrifice.)
5. Laugh it off. You’ll be teaching your kids a great way to deal with stress, which they’ll remember way longer than your semantic slip.
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