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‘Tis almost the season…to feel overwhelmed: Tips to Survive the Holiday Season
Mary Muscari, PhD, author of Let Kids Be Kids: Rescuing Childhood, and associate professor of nursing at Binghamton University in Binghamton, NY, has so many good suggestions for stopping the madness that we need to dole them out over two issues.
Otherwise, you might begin to feel, um, overwhelmed. And that, of course, would totally defeat the purpose.
JUMP
Thanksgiving turkey cleared? You know what that means. Wham!’s “Last Christmas” will now begin playing over and over (and over) in every store you enter between now and December 25.
Unfortunately, hiding out at home won’t help your sanity. That’s because this is a high-stress time of year, no matter how much you love your fam. The reason? We can’t stop wishing for those unrealistic Hallmark moments, says Mary Muscari, PhD, author of Let Kids Be Kids: Rescuing Childhood, and associate professor of nursing at Binghamton University in Binghamton, NY. “When they don’t come, we spend more time wondering what went wrong than we did enjoying what went right.”
Her advice? Learn to enjoy the goofs. After all, she reasons, “the majority of our families would be more at home on Funniest Home Videos than The Brady Bunch.”
That said, here’s how to keep your stress level down to orange (or is it yellow?) this holiday season:
Make a to-do list that includes something already done and scratched off. It’s worth it to feel like you’ve finished at least one thing.
Break the news that Santa’s elves aren’t perfect. Give your brood a reasonable deadline for writing their wish lists, and ask them to list a few alternatives to their top choices.
Skip the mob scenes. Shop online, through catalogs or with home shopping channels. Your gift will mean just as much.
Say “no.” ”No, you can’t have an Uzi.” ”No, I cannot possibly bake a gross of cupcakes tonight.” You can’t do it all, and you don’t have to.
Beware of Santa. Toddlers tend to fear strange things, like big dogs, clowns and, yes, Santa Claus. The photo op may be great for you, but a serious stressor for your child. Avoid store Santa pics until he or she’s at least three and you’ve had a chance to gradually introduce all the holiday hoopla.
Keep it simple. If you love to bake, go for it. Otherwise, toss some store-bought cookies on a pretty plate, add mini-chips to the frozen cookie dough, and repeat your new mantra, “It’s good enough.”
Let the kids help out. It’s their holiday, too, so suggest they volunteer or donate some of their old toys to charity. Helping out teaches responsibility and values, plus helps them to feel good about themselves.
Don’t underestimate your partner. Chances are, your other half can do more than string lights at holiday time – and will be thrilled you asked.
Call in reinforcements. Trade ideas or better yet, swap tasks, with friends and neighbors. Let the bakers bake and the shoppers shop. You’ll save time and have shoulders to cry on when things go wrong.
Don’t wait until after the holidays to wind down. You can’t beat stress without eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep. The same goes for your family. Missing out will cause kids, especially young ones, to melt down at a speedy clip.
Give the gift of patience to your teens. Stress hits older kids differently. They may feel blue about not having a significant other at holiday time, especially when seeing all the handholding couples at the mall. You can’t get your daughter a date, but you can spend extra time with her to keep her loneliness in check. Talk about fun things she can do alone or with friends, including what you did at her age.
Be realistic. Unless you have a huge staff at your fingertips, don’t expect cover-photo perfection. But that’s okay, remember? Years from now, you’ll cherish the memories of the cat jumping onto the table and slurping from the gravy boat while your in-laws recline in horror — not the lump-free gravy.
Be pragmatic. No matter how hectic the holidays become, they do end.
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