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What’s the most important word in a parent’s vocabulary? No. Like, “No, I will not set the TiVo to record that horrid Hills show for you.” And just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you have to a) give in, or b) feel guilty about it. Mary Muscari, PhD, author of Let Kids Be Kids: Rescuing Childhood, and associate professor of nursing at Binghamton University in Binghamton, NY, explains.
“No” is the most important word in a parent’s vocabulary, even during this “happiest” time of year. It’s okay to say “no” and not feel guilty about it. To do so, realize:
Objects cannot make up for lost time. Reevaluate your time commitments and make sure your kids have more than adequate quality and quantity time with you.
Kids need to learn how to deal with hearing “No.” They will hear it all the time in the real world. Hearing it from you now teaches them valuable life lessons for later.
Narcissism is a bad thing. Narcissist kids become narcissist adults who have severe problems maintaining relationships, so you shouldn’t give in to their every whim.
You don’t need to be paying down huge holiday bills in March… long after your kids forgot what gifts they received in the first place.
That said, you don’t need to be a grinch. Or wait until the last minute to nay-say.
Talk to your kids about the true meaning of the holidays. They are about giving, not getting. To drive the point home, have your kids donate an old toy to charity.
Find a compromise, when possible. (“No, I can’t bake you a gross of cupcakes for tomorrow morning, but you we can both bake a tray of brownies you can cut up in tiny pieces.”)
Set a dollar limit for gifts and stick to it. Tell your offspring what the amount is, and explain they need to limit their wish list to that amount. (You’ll need to simplify this for little ones. For example, they can get ten toothpicks worth of presents; some presents are worth two toothpicks, others, five, but their wish list can only add up to ten toothpicks.)
Use this line for older kids that complain about gifts they don’t like. “If you don’t like the gifts you receive, we’ll donate them to charity. Next year, we’ll just donate money to a charity in your name instead of buying you gifts.” (You’ll only have to use this tactic once.)
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