Vowing that you’ll never, ever allow your kids to watch TV is a little like promising you’ll never, ever a) raise your voice or b) let your kids have a junky snack sometimes. Let’s face it, it’s just not possible. Gummy bears and shouting, “Get your sister’s face out of the toilet!” happen. And you know what, everyone survives.

So stop the guilt trip about TV already. Debbie Bookstaber, who blogs at mamanista.com, gives you many excellent reasons why after the jump. And look at her! She grew up watching He-Man cartoons and still went to Yale.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no television under age 2 and no more than 1 to 2 hours a day for children over 2, but published studies, as well as research by the Kaiser Foundation, show that a majority of parents do not abide by those recommendations.

While I know a few moms whose children never watched any TV before they turned two and who strictly limit screen time for their older children to the occasional educational French cartoon, this standard of perfection can be next to impossible for the rest of us to meet.

The huge gap between experts’ advice and the actual viewing habits of American children demonstrates the need for some more realistic and pragmatic recommendations.

In my experience, TV viewing escalates as parents who want the best for their children struggle for a free way to pass the time or when an exhausted mom needs a break from play so she can find the time to shower or make dinner. These parents need practical tips, not condemnation.

Here are my top tips for parents:
1. Find new ways to play.
2. Make TV viewing an active experience.
3. Pick the right programs.
4. Don’t use the TV as background noise.
5. Lighten up.

Find New Ways to Play:

With high gas prices, trips to the museum, zoo, or beach have become harder to afford. If you want to reduce the amount of time your kids spend watching TV you’ll need suggestions for free or low cost activities.

One of my favorite books is Unplugged Play: No Batteries. No Plugs. Pure Fun, which includes nearly 700 age-appropriate activity suggestions for children from 1-10 years old. Unplugged Play is a parent’s best friend. It has ideas for free activities perfect for beautiful, summer days and rainy, dull days; for times when you want to play one-on-one with your child to those moments when you want to distract your little one so you can get dinner on the table or finish that email.

These activities trigger the imagination and help children develop their motor skills and problem solving abilities. Most importantly, they are good, plain fun and do not require much money– just imagination and a sense of whimsy. In fact, some of my favorite activities in the book involved just a laundry basket and rolled up socks (Sock Toss and Laundry Basketball) or crumpled construction paper (Crumpled Paper Toss)! Older kids will enjoy the competitive sport of Junior Bowling. All you need are empty water bottles from the recycling bin and a tennis ball.
Make TV Viewing An Active Experience:

For many parents, shared TV viewing with their children becomes a bonding experience. One of my friends enjoys dancing to the Wiggles with his baby daughter. Watching this otherwise staid lawyer get groovy and giggle along with his beaming tot is a beautiful thing.

Watching educational TV shows with your child can help spark interesting conversations and encourage a child’s passion for a subject. I know a middle schooler who was a fan of reality TV. Most reality TV shows leave much to be desired, but his mother persuaded him to watch the BBC reality series 1940s House with her. In this show, a British family agreed to live under the same conditions as Britons during the Blitz. Watching it helped him understand what life must have been like for families dealing with food rations and bomb shelters. This show ignited a passion for history.

Pick the Right Programs:

In an ideal world TV viewing would be a shared experience, but TV appeals to many parents as an electronic babysitter. Try to minimize the time your children spend watching TV alone. But if you can’t be there to watch with them, help them by picking a program that inspires your children’s passion for learning. Use the parental controls on your TV set to prevent them from watching unauthorized programs, and use a DVR to record the right kind of shows.

Aside from classics like Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow, some of my favorite programs include The Science Channel’s How It’s Made (show your budding engineer how items are manufactured), The Food Network’s Unwrapped (indulge your little foodie by teaching them how their favorite food products are made), The Discovery Channel’s Mythbusters (urban legends are put to the test in interesting experiments that explain the principles of physics), Animal Planet’s Meerkat Manor (the adventures of these little animals are more compelling than any soap opera), The History Channel’s Digging for the Truth (fascinating investigations into history’s biggest mysteries) and Modern Marvels (learn about engineering and technology).

Don’t Use the TV as Background Noise:

Turn off the TV during meals and don’t let your children watch TV while they’re doing homework. If your children have TVs in their rooms, suggest that they do homework at the kitchen table where you can enforce the no TV during study time rule. Or better yet….take that TV out of the bedroom.

Lighten Up a Bit:

Child psychologist Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld wrote the books Hyperparenting: Are You Hurting Your Child By Trying Too Hard? and The Overscheduled Child, in response to the growing number of parents who tried to control every minute of their children’s lives and who pressured their children to succeed. I know parents who refuse to let their little elementary-school geniuses watch even classic Disney movies. Their children are brilliant, but I worry about them.

Not every minute of your child’s life needs to be educational or academic. Sometimes kids need to be kids and to delight in the silly and the stupid. And…gasp!…a dumb cartoon is not going to permanently harm them.

As a child of the 80s, I used to love watching He-Man and She-Ra after school. These cartoons were mindless and sponsored by Mattel in order to sell cheap plastic toys. But I loved them, and I still have fond memories of watching He-Man and She-Ra and playing with my action figures. I went on to graduate Phi Beta Kappa from Yale University, so those He-Man cartoons, Smurfs reruns, and Saturday morning cartoons didn’t ruin my life. I still read books, visited museums, played outside and watched educational shows like Reading Rainbow, but I’m glad my mother was confident enough to just let me be a kid too.

Debbie Bookstaber lives outside of Philadelphia with her husband and son. She blogs at www.mamanista.com, works as a marketing consultant, serves on her local school board and is an active volunteer with educational charities. You can contact Debbie at debbie.bookstaber@gmail.com.

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